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My Friend and I Texting Today

  • Me: Dude, soap opera acting is so fucking corny. I could act better with my buttcheeks.
  • Friend: Omg I would pay for cable if your soap opera was on cable.
  • Me: Here's the synopsis: my left buttcheek is in love with righty, but my right buttcheek is in love with handsome millionaire Johnny Cracks.
  • Friend: Copyright that asap!
  • Friend: Did Johnny Cracks make his milli playing craps?
  • Me: LMFAO YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!